Audition Notice 


By Ken Ludwig
Directed by Stephen Snars
Tuesday 12thFebruary 2019– Doors open at 7:30pm for an 8pm start
Performance Dates 31 May to 22 June 2019
Two hapless Brit actors, doomed to a tour of performing Shakespeare in Pennsylvanian moose halls, hit on a plan to impersonate missing heirs to a fortune.  Unfortunately, the heirs turn out to be heiresses! Unashameably derivative of the classic comedy, ‘Some Like it Hot’, (definitely NOT ‘The Footy Show’) our two “leading men” need to look convincingly good in drag without shooting the whole thing in black and white!

This is obviously a farce so I will require actors who know comedy, can move quickly onstage and off, delivering lines with required pace and intention. Standard US accent for all cast except Leo and Jack.

You might think your bum looks big in this, but don’t uncast yourself for any reason! Ages are merely a guide.

Leo Clark/Maxine (M) 30-50, English accent, charming yet mildly pompous. A marginally gifted actor, at least half as good as he thinks he is. Swordfight.

Jack Gable/Stephanie (M)30-50 English accent, reasonably competent actor, nice guy, easily dragged into Leo’s harebrained schemes. Does not want to dress as a woman but does it better than Leo. Swordfight.
Meg Snider(F) early 30s Girl next door good looks,vivacious, warm and great sense of humour. Has unfulfilled dreams of the great big world she is yet to experience. Passionate about Shakespeare since seeing Leo Clark onstage two years ago.

Audrey(F) 20-25 Cute, extremely sweet and good-natured. A whiz on roller skates!

Doc Myers(M) 40-60 Local doctor, not very good at it. Also Chief Moose. Likeable. Father to Butch. Enjoys banging heads with Duncan.

Butch Myers(M) 20-30 Fit, maybe ran track at high school. Sincere, good-hearted and in love with Audrey. A little slow on the uptake but not quite Forrest Gump either. Absolutely hopeless at Shakespeare.

Rev. Duncan Wooley(M) 40ish. Local minister, engaged to Meg. Basically a good man, but fussy and headstrong. Distrusts actors and Brits.

Florence (F)40+ who can play “old”.  Crusty, terrible eyesight, wealthy, wily, ailing….hypochondriac?
No monologues to prepare but if you have a really quick joke then share it! Readings are from the script which you will have read first to acquaint yourself with the plot and characters so you won’t have to sit in the foyer practicing with a stranger.

For more information please contact the Director – 0400 832 836 or


Early audition for Biloxi Blues by Neil Simon – Rehearsals to commence May 

Date: Tuesday 26 February 2018

Time: 7.30pm doors open for an 8pm start


Why So Early . . .

Due to a need for a lot of push-ups to be performed in this play I am holding auditions early so the cast have plenty of time to learn their lines prior to commencing rehearsals and allowing them time to develop the biceps required for performance. 

A Bit About the Play . . . 

Set in 1943 this semi-biographical play by Neil Simon is based loosely on his time in US Army during basic training before shipping out to Europe for the war. Eugene (the Neil Simon character) is a naive young man who learns some significant life lessons in his ten weeks in Biloxi, Mississippi. The standard ‘basic training’ characters are there, a platoon of 6 young men, a crazy Drill Sergeant, a young romantic love interest and a good humoured hooker. This is a very funny play that keeps you laughing along until it suddenly grabs your heart and tears it out of your chest – the kind of play that actors love to be in. For a longer description please see the brochure. 


What do I need. . . .

All Characters must have an American accent

Daisy & Rowena are from Biloxi Mississippi          

Sgt Toomey also from the south


All boys in the platoon have accents from the New York State area and will each have their own subtle differences taking into account exact location, racial heritage and socio economic differences etc. All boys in the platoon are aged between 18-25 but please let me be the judge of how young or old you look on stage. All boys will be required to have Army regulation short back and sides hair and be clean shaven. 

Everyone needs to be physically fit and agile as the play has a lot of activity


And the Characters are . . . 


Joseph Wykowsky – agressive alpha male, self-described “dumb Pollack” from Bridgeport Connecticut with an iron stomach and a permanent erection. Must be physically strong. 

Roy Selridge – Wykowsky’s dopey side-kick, from Schenectady NY lacks personal hygiene and has 19 cavities, he also believes he is funny.

Don Carney – From Montclair New Jersey he’s a nice guy, low key and preferring peace. He can dish it out when he wants and he MUST be able to CONFIDENTLY HOLD A TUNE. Yep he sings, so if you’ve got a voice bring a song you like to sing a Capella

Eugene Morris Jerome – A naive middle class Jewish virgin leaving home for the first time . . . our boy is direct from Brighton Beach Brooklyn NY and narrates parts of the play directly to the audience so the actor must be very comfortable breaking the fourth wall. 

Arnold Epstein – the sensitive and highly intelligent member of the platoon comes from Queens Boulevard New York. His inability to suffer injustice and his ‘bookishness’ see’s him frequently bullied. A well read young Jewish man he is both proud and compassionate in equal measure. 

James Hennesy – a calm, rational guy who arrives late into the mix but as a friendly fellow he fits right in, he has a secret

Sgt Merwin J Toomey – stir crazy Drill Sergeant in charge of the platoon. He is OLD SCHOOL. He served fourteen months in the North Africa Campaign and having been injured now provides basic training to new platoons on their way to war. 

Rowena – the good humoured hooker, no particular age or nationality but with an American accent 

Daisy Hannigan – A good convent girl who is the woman of Eugene’s dreams. Daisy is well read, very Catholic and as American as apple pie


For the Audition 

Please prepare a very short monologue in an American accent, no need to learn the lines. We will also work from the script so for your own benefit please ensure you have read the play before the audition. 

If you have any questions or would like to read the play please contact me at or 0402 645 808.

IMPORTANT: if you cannot make the date and are keen to audition please contact me to discuss alternatives. 


I am really excited to direct this play and I encourage you to audition.

Thanks and cheerio, 

Meredith Jacobs

Note: Castle Hill Players hold  6 auditions each year on a Tuesday night at the theatre. They are advertised two weeks prior on this website.